My boss' voice literally gives me gas
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
