i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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