i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
