I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
