This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
