Porn is love you can see.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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