no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
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