I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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