Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
