I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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