just come out here and I will go home with you...
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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