The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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