Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
