I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
