and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Randomize
