I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
