I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
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