Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
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