i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
