I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
PANTIES FOUND
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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