its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
