so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
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