White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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