He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Randomize
