I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
