Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
