do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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