Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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