there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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