im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
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