mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Randomize
