If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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