my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
