somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
