i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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