If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
