His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
