I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
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