VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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