it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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