My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
