Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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