I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
