Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
