She is in my trunk
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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