I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
