someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Randomize
