So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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