forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
