i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
