Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
