did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
