this boner is exhausting
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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